That One Time I Played a Bard Out of Spite (And Had a Ball)

I am, generally speaking, a big advocate for players changing up their concepts and trying out different roles within their games. A big part of that is because when I was a very new player I got stuck in a groove that I just couldn't get out of. It wasn't until someone else made a snide comment that I decided to change things up out of spite, and realized that what I really needed as a gamer was a bit of variety.

Are you ready to rock!?

Spite is a Powerful Motivator

I have a theory that when first introduced to RPGs, players will have one of two modes they go into as they learn. The first is that they will play something colorful, silly, probably very off-kilter and ridiculous. The sorts of folks who want to play Deadpool from the films, where he's inappropriate, and 4th wall breaking, and doesn't take anything seriously. The second is when players try to play dark, serious, gritty characters who talk like they have a throat full of gravel and whose hobbies include menacingly sharpening their blades and taking vengeance upon those who've wronged them. Like Deadpool when he was in the hands of creators like Rob Liefeld.

As a player, I very definitely pitched my tent in the latter camp.

Ranger. Combat specialty, ranged. Family, deceased. Body count... rising.

Anyone who looked at the books, comics, and movies that shaped my younger reading days wouldn't have been surprised to see that direction for me as a player. As I mentioned in my recent alignment deep dive The Punisher is Evil, Frank Castle was a regular character favorite of mine along with Ghost Rider, the Hulk, and others. One of my early gifts as a child was a leather bound copy of Frank Miller's take on Batman, and practically every movie I saw that wasn't an animated kids film was a story of a wronged man seeking vengeance.

Write what you know, as the classic advice goes.

Generally speaking, I don't see anything wrong with embracing the vengeful, violent character archetype as long as players are allowed to let their characters grow and change throughout the campaign. You can get a lot of powerful moments out of the grizzled loner opening themselves back up to having friends once more, or the catharsis of finally getting the revenge they've sought for so long. The difficulty I ran into was that no game I joined ever ran for very long... so I had to keep re-inventing the same character I'd been trying to play from different angles so I could actually finish the story I'd been trying to tell. It was like getting cut off halfway through your story, and having to start all over again when you tried to pick it back up.

I'd gone through a ranger, a barbarian, and at least two rogues, and every group had dissolved within 5 sessions. Finally a friend of mine had made it clear she wanted to start a new game, and she had a whole campaign planned. So I got out my notebook of character concepts, and started brainstorming.

It was while I was in the middle of this that my roommate at the time walked behind me and snidely asked, "So what version of Batman are you bringing to this game?"

Flipping The Script

Had this happened to me today, I would have sat down with my roommate and explained that sort of comment was uncalled for, and that if he had an issue with the characters I played then we should talk it out and come to some kind of understanding. However, this happened when I was still quite fresh to the hobby, and so I did what came naturally to me as a creator... I embraced my first spiteful impulse, and ran with it.

And now for something entirely different!

The result of this mad dash of spite was a bard by the name of Eirik Perdhro. A tall, blonde-haired young man from the north country he was a singer, a storyteller, a juggler, and a flute player. With a mind for mischief and a smile that always got him into trouble, he sought adventure not for coin or vengeance, but because he'd grown up listening to his grandfather's tales of big cities and far-off deeds. He wanted to see those places for himself, and tread the same paths the old man had when he'd been young.

I dug down even deeper than those basic changes, though. The son of a tavern owner, Eirik had grown up learning to be a bit of everything. Bar keep, pot boy, entertainer, and other skills allowed him to work his way anywhere he needed to be. His home life was good, and he even had a sister. He regularly wrote letters home, telling his parents about his adventures, and sending trinkets along to his grandfather. He was, in other words, a perfectly nice young man who tended to get himself mixed up in trouble.

And the difference in that experience both for me as a player, as well as for the few folks who'd played with me, was like night and day.

A Different Mindset, and a Different Story

When I'd played a dark or brooding character, there were a select few paths I always opted for as a player. Most of them were violence, or threats of violence. It wasn't until I played a character for whom fighting was not their strongest aspect that I had to think on my feet, and ask what someone with a different disposition, different goals, and different experiences would do in a given situation.

And it led to more creative solutions.

Eirik's most potent weapon was his very blue-collar demeanor, combined with his charm. He could dress up for the ball, and keep the court dancing, but he could also walk down to the kitchen and blend in with the staff. He could walk into practically any chamber while wearing an apron and carrying a tray, and no one questioned him. Even when it came to lying to higher-profile figures, such as half-mad cult leaders, he always gave everything his best gambler's face and tried to sell it.

Frankly, it's astonishing how many doors in your average game will just open for you if you ask nicely, and you don't look like you're a threat.

Yeah, I'm with room service. There a problem?

The character did fall into his share of cliches (it was my first time playing a bard, after all). A majority of the trouble he got into was for chasing female characters who were several times his threat level, though in the interest of keeping things tasteful he would write letters, compose poems, and send presents instead of trying to just seduce someone into his bed. He was a little on the bumbling side of things, and not much use in a fight. Part of that was my own terrible dice luck, but I figured it would be better to lean into it, and make it a part of the character.

And I addressed at least a few of these in my 5 Tips For Playing Better Bards over in my 5 Tips archive, for those who are curious.

While the campaign I created him for didn't finish, it did go on longer than practically any game I'd played up to that point. And though my pendulum has since swung back more toward the serious, brooding types, I've never forgotten the lessons I learned playing an adventuresome juke joint juggler just looking for a good time. Think through a situation, consider all your options, and remember that it never hurts to ask. You can always pull your steel, but you usually can't undo that particular decision.

Most importantly, if you want to seduce an NPC, be sweet, charming, and enfold the character into your story. Don't make the DM, or the players, uncomfortable... and remember that if your lovers are all level 15+ and they want to fight over you that you brought this upon yourself.

Next Time on Table Talk!

Thanks to some recent developments, I should be getting back to my Runelords tales soon, and finishing out that campaign for you all. Until then, stay tuned, and I'll see you next time on Table Talk!

For more of my work, check out my Vocal archives, as well as the YouTube channel Dungeon Keeper Radio where I help out from time to time. Or, to check out books like my sword and sorcery novel Crier's Knife or my recent short story collection The Rejects, head over to My Amazon Author Page!

To stay on top of all my latest releases, follow me on Facebook, Tumblr, and Twitter, as well as on Pinterest where I'm building all sorts of boards dedicated to my books, RPG supplements, and greatest hits. Lastly, to help support me and my work, consider Buying Me A Ko-Fi, or heading over to The Literary Mercenary's Patreon page to become a regular, monthly patron! Even a little donation can have a big impact.