No One Cares How You Game At Your Table (So Just Play The Way You Want)

As I've alluded to before, I spend a lot of time on social media and on various boards talking about games. I share my work, I answer questions when I feel my knowledge is worthwhile, and I do my best to help where I can. However, I've noticed this thing that happens a lot in the digital world of game conversations, and it confuses me.

The scenario goes like this. Someone, either in the main body of a post or in a comment, will talk about how their table has changed a particular rule, or about how they would rule something as a dungeon master. Then someone else points out that their house rule, or their ruling, is not in-line with what's actually in the book, or the official errata from the game's creator. This makes it a house rule, rather than a by-the-book ruling.

Then a huge argument breaks out.

Hey, I didn't start this flame war!

Now, I'm going to say something that shouldn't be all that controversial; pointing out that something is a house rule is not the same thing as saying someone is playing the game wrong. It is simply an acknowledgement that the rules at your table, and the rules in the book as they're written, are different. That's it. It is as close to an objective fact as you can get in the world of RPGs.

If someone has a problem with the way you run things at your table, then you need to ask yourself two very important questions:

- Question #1: Do you value this person's input?
- Question #2: Is this person sitting at your table?

Assuming the answer to both of these is no, you should ask yourself a third question... why do you care?

It's Your Table, Play It Your Way

As long as there have been RPGs, there have been players arguing over how to play the games. However, I can guarantee you that no one out there is upset knowing that somewhere in the world there is a table playing their game, breaking all the established rules, and having fun doing it.

So why are you wasting your time defending yourself, and what makes you happy? Instead, take that energy, and plan your next game session with it!

Stupid rules lawyer, eh? I'll show him how this rules lawyer builds a kickass dungeon!

There is no wrong way to run a game. If you run all the rules as they exist in the book, and that makes you happy, then do that! If you change up your players' hit points and race bonuses, but the rest is mostly okay, then do that instead! If you overhaul huge portions of the rule book, and that is just fine with your table, then shine on you mad bastard!

Curmudgeons have been with us since the start of the hobby, whether they take the form of by-the-book purists who prosthelytize theirs as the one-true-way to play, or anarchists who claim that no rules matter and it's all about your creativity. There are hundreds of different approaches, and if you have found the one that works for you, then you (and the rest of your table) are the only ones who have to enjoy it. And if someone fundamentally disagrees with you about something like this, that's great, because it lets you know not to invite them to your table.

Remember that this holiday season as we all unwrap our new dice and start planning our campaigns. Because the phrase "house rule" isn't derogatory, you are free to change whatever you want, and if someone who doesn't have an invitation to your table has a problem with it, then you can keep on scrolling and leave them shouting into the void. You've got a game to play.

That's all for this week's Moon Pope Monday post. Hopefully it helps some folks out there when it comes to perspective, and remembering that you don't have to engage with things if they aren't helping you. For more of my work check out my Vocal archive, or just go to my Gamers page for all my tabletop articles. You should also head over to the YouTube channel Dungeon Keeper Radio where I get together with other gamers to make videos for players and dungeon masters alike!

To stay on top of all my latest releases, follow me on Facebook, Tumblr, and Twitter. And if you'd like to support me you can Buy Me A Ko-Fi, or go to The Literary Mercenary's Patreon page to throw a small tip my way every month. Or, if you're looking for something to satisfy your hunger for books, you could stop by My Amazon Author Page where you'll find all kinds... like my sword and sorcery novel Crier's Knife!

Looking For Deals on Terrain and Minis? Don't Go To Your FLGS

If you're a gamer, then you've likely seen those grand set ups at conventions, or on YouTube campaigns where the DM has an entire spread of appropriate map terrain. A whole, miniature world whether it's a dungeon, the town square, or an entire army that's being battled. It looks like a dream come true, but that dream quickly turns into a nightmare when you see how much dealers sell some of that terrain for.

How much!? I could put a down payment on a REAL house for that.

While advances in technology like 3D printing have made it easier to get custom designs, most of us still can't afford to have one of those little miracles in our basement. Don't worry, though, there are plenty of places you can go to find interesting additions to your map.

Head To The Dollar Store

Whether it's the Dollar Tree, Dollar General, Five Below, or some other brand of store where they sell stuff for cheap, pop in there are take a good look around. Specifically, you need to walk down the toy aisle. In the super cheap dollar stores, you'll find bags of plastic toys that are perfect for map deployment. Over-sized wolves, hulking zombies, skeletons, pirates, cannons, catapults, knights, and the list goes on and on. While a lot of these minis won't quite fit in a single space, and they have some trouble standing up, you can easily glue them to a pre-existing base. And if you don't have any bases lying around unused, you can easily cut some from cardboard or plastic. Take a Sharpie to blacken the base, and you have adventurers, monsters, and all sorts of props that could be cluttering up your dungeon. You can even add some small stones or moss onto the base, if you're super dedicated.

It won't be Games Workshop quality, but hey, you're not paying Games Workshop prices, either.

In addition to just looking for those $1 bags of cheap toys, though, give a long, hard look to the board games on offer. Because as I mentioned awhile back in Want Cheap Minis? Wizards and Five Below Are Here To Help! these stores often get games like Arena of The Planeswalkers (which has over 30 miniatures in it, as well as some useful map terrain like boulders, ice walls, etc.). And even if it's not a cast-off from Wizards, board games with interesting minis, a crap load of dice, or even a dice tower, can often be picked up for a handful of change.

Even if you don't find something in the toy aisle, relax. Instead, swing by the craft section, and the home and garden aisle if they have one. You know that red dragon "mini" that's about a foot tall? Well, if you don't mind it having a ceramic glisten, you may be able to find one for $5 or so that's meant to go in your garden. It will be pretty heavy, and will require a base, but you'll see the same look of utter panic on your players' faces when you deploy it, and that's what matters. In addition to colossal beasties the size of a house cat, though, home and garden aisles in these stores are replete with tiny cottages, wells, castles, and other stuff for people who want to build little outdoor scenes in their gardens.

And remember, if the castle you find looks too cheery, all it takes is a coat of black gloss spray paint to turn it into the decaying tower of the wizard Karthandrel.

If That Doesn't Work, Head To Michael's

Chances are you've been in a Michael's craft store at some point. However, unless you went all the way to the back aisles, you may have missed their miniatures crafting section. While it's meant for model train enthusiasts, dioramas, and other miniature still-life art, these aisles can be a godsend for DMs who want to spice up the map.

They literally have everything you could want back there. You want dragons? Got em. Stone walls to mark out dungeon barriers? There are probably half-a-dozen varieties there. You want a grassy mat you can mark off into five-foot-squares? Giants? Sea creatures? Done, done, and done. Some things may require a little bit of constructive trimming and gluing to be made into game-ready pieces, but they won't cost anywhere near as much as what you'd find at a convention.

Especially if you get a store membership.

Michael's has a program where, if you're a member, they send you daily coupons, weekly specials, and birthday perks. So even if that hydra you're looking at is $15, well, you can get it for less than a 10-spot if you wait for a 50% off coupon... which you'll get pretty quick. And while you're there you could pick up some paints and brushes to make each head a different color... you know, in case your players have earned you wroth.

That's all for this week's Moon Pope Monday update. Hopefully you find the advice helpful, and if you know of any specific stores that always seem to have the goods feel free to share them in the comments. For more of my work, check out my Vocal archive, or just go to my Gamers profile to see only my RPG stuff. You could also stop by the YouTube channel Dungeon Keeper Radio where I help out. To stay on top of all my releases, follow me on Facebook, Tumblr, and Twitter. Lastly, if you want to help me keep getting good content to you, then consider leaving my a small tip by Buying Me A Ko-Fi, or becoming a regular patron over on The Literary Mercenary's Patreon page. Every little bit helps, and there's free stuff in it for you as well!

Don't Let FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) Dictate Your Gaming Choices

How many times have you heard that Jeff is running a game, and told yourself no, not this time. You've been to a dozen of his campaigns, and every time, without fail, you don't have any fun. Most of the time you end up leaving after the third sessions because it's an active drain on your resources to go, and life is too short to play games you just aren't enjoying. The problem is that Jenn and Pete decided to give it a try, and they had a lot of fun. The problems you had with Jeff's style in the past are still there, but there is a part of you that wants to ignore all the red flags and go anyway because everyone else is having fun, and you want to be part of that.

Now, I'm not going to tell you who you should, and shouldn't, game with. However, if your reaction to a game is the mental equivalent of, "ehhhhhhhhh," and you immediately think of an excuse not to go, you should probably trust that reaction. Don't listen to the FOMO that's trying to drown out your instinct.

"Give it a tryyyyyy... How bad could it beeeee...?"

FOMO: The Fear of Missing Out

If you've never heard of a FOMO before, it's not a creature out of the new Bestiary. It stands for Fear of Missing Out, and it's a condition that affects a huge number of people. Science Daily explains some of the findings and recent studies, but generally speaking, FOMO is just what it sounds like. There's a whole world out there, and you are missing out on it!

This often manifests as anxiety and depression when your peers and friends go do something without you, and have fun. Whether it's going out for drinks on Friday night, hitting up that concert over the weekend, or checking out Jeff's latest campaign, there is a part of your brain that feels like the lonely street urchin left outside in the rain, watching through the frosted glass as the children on the other side open presents, play games, eat cake, and generally have a grand old time.

Too bad you weren't there, man, everyone had their own PLATE of cupcakes!

The insidious thing about FOMO, though, is that it isn't logical. It plays on your emotions, and it undermines your well-reasoned decisions with the fear that you're wrong, and you've made a terrible mistake.

I'll give you a concrete example from my own gaming experience.

As my regular readers know, in addition to tabletop gaming, I love LARPing. I enjoy costuming, full-character immersion, and the challenges that can come from putting more players together in a bigger setting. However, I also know myself pretty well, and I know what saps my interest in a game. If I have to deal with uncomfortable temperatures (which for me is anything over about 70 degrees), I am quickly going to lose my enthusiasm for running around in costume. I am not a fan of camping, and the great outdoors and I have a non-aggression pact that I rigidly enforce. I lack the weekends to sacrifice to massive games, even if I was inclined to be someone else for several days on end. I don't have the cash to invest in boffer weapons, and nothing eliminates my enthusiastic boil faster than someone suggesting, "Well, you could watch this YouTube video and craft your own sword."

So, in short, the only LARPs I really enjoy tend to be World of Darkness-based. Experiences that are typically set in urban (or at least interior) locations, where costuming can be as crazy or subdued as I wish, and where after a few hours of inhabiting a glowering vampire lord, a bloodthirsty werewolf, or a half-mad changeling, I can scrub off the makeup, and go get some pancakes with everyone. I won't have to cope with my own shortening temper, buckets of sweat, pollen, dirt, the hard ground, and a thousand other things that make me want to go home, while also trying to remember the rules and stay in-character.

Even though I know these things about myself, every time I talk to a friend who goes to a weekend-long boffer LARP in the hottest month of the year, and they tell me how much fun they had, part of my brain tells me that I need to go play. It's the same voice that told me, "don't worry, I know you don't drink and hate dealing with crowds and loud noises, but look at how much fun people not you are having at the bar? Clearly you're missing something."

And you know something? Every time I give into that voice, I always find out that I'd made the right call in the first place.

Learn To Recognize The Whisper

Everyone is different, and I'm not going to pretend that I have the answer to a problem that's been playing kickball with psychology for far longer than I've been around. Like all the advice I give on this blog, this is just my thoughts, and what's worked for me. Your mileage will vary, and you know you better than I do.

With that said, the most important thing to do is to recognize when the voice suggesting you give it another try is coming from the genuine you, or when it's your FOMO telling you it knows better, and this time things will be totally different.

Hey, the house stayed up for TWO WHOLE HOURS this time!

To that end, you should always sit down, and address your inner voices. Ask if something changed in the situation to make you think that this time you would enjoy yourself, despite your knowledge that there are obstacles. To go back to our initial example, is the reason you don't enjoy playing with Jeff as a DM because he constantly makes up rules on the fly instead of actually using the rules in the book? Well, if he has changed that habit, and the other players are remarking on how he has the numbers down pat, then that might be a good reason to give his new game a try. If the campground where the LARP is taking place has air-conditioning, cabins, and showers, well, then it might be comfortable enough to really enjoy the game. And if this particular bar is just a library with drinks in it, where people sit around talking about literature, reading, and finding the little secret rooms behind hidden walls, that sounds like a world removed from the oppressive, drunken crowds one usually deals with on a Saturday night.

If nothing has changed, though, you are just performing the same action repeatedly, expecting a different result. Down that road lies naught but madness.

That's all for this week's Moon Pope Monday. Hopefully it has made a difference for some folks out there who have to deal with this issue hanging over them. As always, if you're interested in more gaming articles from yours truly, just dig through the blog, or check out my archive over at Gamers. If you want to stay on top of all my latest releases, then follow me on Facebook, Tumblr, and Twitter. Lastly, if you'd like to help me keep Improved Initiative going, then head on over to The Literary Mercenary's Patreon page to become a patron. All it takes is $1 a month to make a difference, and there's some sweet gaming swag for you once you sign on.