What Is Your Character's Relationship History (And How Has That Affected Them)?

Let's be honest with ourselves, there has always been a streak of romance in a lot of RPGs. Whether it was the relatively chaste quest to prove oneself worthy to wed the princess like something out of an Arthurian story, or the party heading down to the local brothel to spend a sack of coin they earned from their last bounty, the elements have always been present. However, that isn't what I'm talking about today. Because even if you're playing an RPG where you don't want romance-related plots (to say nothing of the more explicit content that exists in games like Lewd Dungeon Adventures or Foreplay: An Erotic Storytelling Game), it's worth asking what kinds of romantic experiences your character has had, and how that's shaped them over their lifetime.

Look, I'm telling you, make the proposal special. Trust me, I speak from experience.

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It's Part Of Your Path (Even If The Character Lacks Experience)

Whatever character you're playing, however strange, unusual, or perfectly plain they are, take a moment and ask yourself what kinds of romantic relationships or entanglements they've had, and how that has affected them as a person. And, before folks start typing in the comments that they don't need to think about their character's sexual history when making a dungeon crawler, that isn't what I'm talking about. Specifically ask what kind of relationships your character has had, what this says about them, and how it affects their outlook. Good or bad, abusive or loving, it will leave a mark on them.

As an example, take the archetype of the fresh-faced fighter. We'll even go the extra mile, and make him a farm boy hero with dreams of glory. If his whole romantic experience up until the time he leaves to go on an adventure, or perhaps to join the militia, is just reading fairy tales about happily ever afters then he's not going to have a frame of reference in mind for when he encounters people out in the world. What will he do when the bard tries to wingman him with the bar keep? How will he react of a noblewoman tries to twist him around her finger? What will he do if he encounters a succubus?

Now ask how that same character would be different if he had a girl back home that he's planning to come back to. He loves her very much, sends letters and money when he can, and he's out trying to make good, and to prove to her father that he can provide for her. What if this character was older, served time in the militia or the army, retired, got married, and now he's a widower who has to find a new way to earn a living, but can't stay in that home with all its memories?

 

She's in every brick of that place... I can't even sleep there anymore.

The types of relationships a character has had, the experience that's garnered them, and what kind of person that's made them into, is an often-overlooked aspect of their history... hence why it's worth thinking about. And the more unusual the character, the more unusual their frame of reference might be.

For example, did a bard master her song as a way to serenade a boy she was infatuated with, but he was betrothed to another? Did that rejection lead her to keep her future relationships shallow and physical, never letting someone get really close to her emotional core? Did the paladin swear an oath of chastity when he first took up the sword, and so all relationships must be physically chaste (even if he might be sorely tested)? Does the cleric serve a love god, and so they are intimately familiar with a variety of relationship styles and troubles, often acting as match maker or counselor? And has this helped their own relationships, or made it even more difficult for them? Does the barbarian come from a tribe where polyamory is normal (like the Takatori dwarves in my Species of Sundara supplement for both DND 5E and Pathfinder Classic), and thus they are used to a completely different relationship dynamic than more "civilized" folk, making mistakes and unintentionally insulting people because they don't understand one another's expectations?

There's no need to make a big deal out of the character's relationship history, but it can be an interesting or fun little mix-in for your game. For example, if your bounty hunter ranger is always talking about the one that got away, it might be a fun little twist that she's been hunting for her ex, who also happens to have a sizable reward on her head. Doubly so if she stole something expensive, hoping the ranger would come after her, because she was too awkward or scared to talk about her feelings. If the halfling rogue is always talking about his wife back home in terms that makes her seem dainty, soft, and delicate, but then the party meets said wife to find out she's a full-blooded orc who will destroy anything that comes between her and her husband, that juxtaposition can be fun and amusing. And if the grim-faced cleric of the death goddess melts whenever there are kids present, finding out that he and his wife never had a chance to have their own before she passed of a fever can add a dimension to him that the rest of the party didn't expect, and it adds a tragic, human side of him that he might keep under wraps until he truly trusts someone.

Which is why this aspect is worth thinking about. Because even if romance isn't a driving force behind a character, their experience with it, and desire for it (or the lack thereof), will be part of what has shaped them up until the point where they hit the mat.

Also, if you are looking for inclusions of something that is definitely going to be an adult element in a game (but which doesn't actually have any explicit content in it), then I'd recommend checking out the following series of supplements by yours truly:

- World's Oldest Profession: A Baker's Dozen of Brothels

- World's Oldest Profession: 100 Courtesans and Concubines

- World's Oldest Profession: 100 Rumors To Hear in a Brothel

- World's Oldest Profession: 100 Titillating Titles To Find in a Lewd Library

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Again, for more of my work, check out my Vocal archive, and stop by the Azukail Games YouTube channel, or the dark sci fi saga of The A.L.I.C.E. Files! Or if you'd prefer to read some of my books, like my dystopian sci-fi thriller Old Soldiers, my hardboiled gangland noir series starring a bruiser of a Maine Coon with Marked Territory and Painted Cats, my sword and sorcery novel Crier's Knife or my latest short story collection The Rejects, then head over to My Amazon Author Page!

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What Cultural Norms and Etiquette Does Your Character Follow?

"Ummm... Tendrick?" Edelwinn said. "Can I talk to you?"

The aquiline man with the hawkish nose nodded, following his companion a few steps down the hall. She cleared her throat, glancing around to be sure no one would overhear.

"We're just going out into the town for business," she said. "Routine maintenance. Pick up some supplies. We don't want to make anyone nervous."

"No, of course not," he agreed, nodding. "Precisely why I left my shield and plate in my rooms. I should have no need of it here."

"But what about that?" Edelwinn asked, glancing at her taller companion's hip. The sword called Devil's Bane hung at his side, the gem in its pommel glimmering, and the violence spellworked into the steel almost palpable.

"Edelwinn, I am a sworn sword of the realm, and a son of House Ebon Claw," Tendrick said. He spoke carefully, though not insultingly. "It is customary to wear a blade at all times."

"There's nothing I can say to budge you on this?" Edelwinn said.

He smiled at her. "You could challenge me to a duel, and try to take it from me if you wish. I would honor that defeat."

"Fine, wear your steel if it makes you feel pretty," Edelwinn grumbled, stalking past him. "But I see that thing out of its scabbard someone had better damn well have tried to knife you!"

What do you expect me to do? Carry a stick like a common peasant?

Cultural Norms and Etiquette Add Depth To Characters

This is something I've been thinking about a lot over the past month or so, ever since I started doing the research to write How The Cane Replaced The Sword in Everyday Carry. Because carrying a sword in Europe was, for many years, as much a mark of status and style as it was about having a weapon to defend yourself with should the need arise. And then, practically overnight, it was no longer the fashionable thing to do. Instead of a sword, a walking stick became the new accessory that was part of one's everyday carry... and this was a trend that lasted for centuries!

From the outside looking in, that is a truly unusual quirk to have in a society for that long a period of time. Especially when you consider that over the years there was an entire etiquette built up around the style of stick one might carry, how one had to walk with it, whether it was or was not appropriate to actually lean on it in certain circumstances; it got really intricate.

This got me thinking, what other kinds of cultural norms and etiquette could add flavor to our characters and societies in our games?

I can drink neither the fermentation of grape, or of wheat... it's made of honey, you say?

On the one hand, we could simply pluck bits of our real-world history and apply them to our fantasy settings to create interesting cultural norms. For example, getting back to the history of walking sticks, specific sticks were used as symbols of position and authority in ancient Egypt, so someone carrying such a stick would be immediately recognizable to those around them. On the other hand, dueling culture is often something that's added into our settings, allowing individuals to settle differences in a proscribed (if not exactly peaceful) fashion.

You could also create completely new and unique cultural norms out of whole cloth for your characters and setting if you so desire! While I put out a lot of potential examples in 100 Superstitions For a Fantasy Setting as well as in 100 Fantasy Tattoos (And Their Meanings), others might include:

- The color red is only worn by warriors among the Shar'vastri orcs. The more battles they have fought, and the more blood they have spilled, the more of this color they are allowed to wear. It is rare for a warrior to live long enough to wear a full coat of red, but those who do achieve that right are to be feared.

- Flowers are their own language among the nobles of Citrine. Every bloom has its own unique meaning, but there are some of them which are strictly regulated to members of certain professions, classes, and even houses. Someone wearing the wrong flower, or arranging a bouquet purely for aesthetics, may find themselves sending a message they did not intend.

- The particular somatic and verbal components you use are judged in Farassa as elements of how elegant your magic is. Traditionalists only cast spells in high elven, with the smooth, elegant gestures that are almost like a dance. While replacing it with languages like Ignan may be appropriate for fire-based spells, using the common tongue is seen as gauche and uneducated. Casting spells in the tongue of the Veshradi orcs is outright scandalous, and marks one out as a base caster too crude for the ways of civilized magic.

Practically every aspect of a culture comes with its dos and do-nots. Whether it's how you address someone older or younger than yourself, how to dress, how to dance, when (and how) to fight... you can tinker with practically anything! So when you make your next character, take a moment to consider the culture that shaped them. What aspects of it cling to them? What norms have they laid aside? Or, for that matter, what pieces of etiquette have they learned from other cultures, allowing them to move between different worlds and communities with as few ripples as possible?

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That's all for this week's Fluff post!

For more of my work, check out my Vocal archive, and stop by the YouTube channel Dungeon Keeper Radio. Or if you'd prefer to read some of my books, like my alley cat thriller Marked Territory, my sword and sorcery novel Crier's Knife or my recent short story collection The Rejects, then head over to My Amazon Author Page!

To stay on top of all my latest releases, follow me on Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, and now Pinterest as well! To support my work, consider Buying Me a Ko-Fi, or heading to The Literary Mercenary's Patreon page to become a regular, monthly patron. That one helps ensure you get more Improved Initiative, and it means you'll get my regular, monthly giveaways as a bonus!

Sexuality Matters in Roleplaying Games (And Here's Why)

Anyone who's played Pathfinder, or the 5th edition of Dungeons and Dragons, has likely noticed the effort both Paizo and Wizards of the Coast have put in to attract a more diverse audience to their games. Pathfinder's adventures involve NPCs of various genders and sexualities, and Dungeons and Dragons opened with language that made it clear that the game world doesn't necessarily resemble the world we live in when it comes to sexual and romantic norms. Both of these were covered in greater detail over at Mighty Meep, for those who want to know more.

The companies' decisions to use more inclusive language, and to present a wider diversity in their game worlds, was met with a positive reception from many players. Some players had a significantly more negative response to the language, and the conversations they sparked. Those who didn't want to hear any more about it, or who simply didn't want to deal with an expanded spectrum of sexual orientation, asked a very loud question to which they didn't actually want an answer.

WHY DOES ANY OF THIS MATTER!?

The question "Why does any of this matter?" or "Why do we care?" is an attempt to silence discussion by implying that the issue of sexuality either doesn't matter, or is inappropriate for roleplaying games. You know, the games that have succubi in them.

So, let's dig a little deeper, shall we?

Sex and Sexuality Have Always Been Part of RPGs

Before we go any further, let's dispel the myth that RPGs were clean, wholesome things that had no sexual aspects to them in the past. As far back as the first edition of Dungeons and Dragons there was a chart for what kind of prostitutes players encountered. There are entire encounters which hinge on the strategy of sexual temptation, from female bandits in the forest, to vampires that press themselves against you before sinking their fangs into your neck. Sure, we can have a chicken or the egg discussion about whether it's the game or the mythology it draws on, but the point is that there have always been aspects of sex and sexuality in RPGs.

If there weren't, then the joke about how the bard sleeps with everything would never have become a stereotype.

Representation, and Identification With Your Character

Representation and identification are two, big issues when it comes to RPGs. On the one hand, we want to play people who are very different from who we are so we can escape into the fantasy. At the same time, though, we want to be able to identify with these characters in some way. So, while the greatsword wielding barbarian may be literally twice the player's size, maybe he shares the player's ethnicity. Alternatively, maybe the character and the player grew up in similar places (rural, urban, etc.), or have similar family structures. Maybe they share certain religious convictions, or philosophical beliefs (the strong protect the weak, for example).

In many cases the low-hanging fruit is that the character and the player have the same sexual preferences.

Whatever those may be.

If a player is heterosexual, then there's not likely going to be an issue. That sort of sexuality is built into most games, even if it never shows up on screen, so to speak. But imagine if you had a player at the table who was gay. Will they receive a similar experience?

Let's create a situation for comparison. Say that Dave joins your game, and he brings a cleric. We're all forward-thinking, inclusive players, so we accept that Dave, as a person, likes men. Dave likes to game, and he runs a good cleric. But we make it very clear that gay characters are not allowed in this game world, and when they do show up they face extreme prejudice. So, while John's bard can leave a trail of illegitimate pregnancies from one town to the next without any trouble, if Dave's cleric looks too longingly at the bartender, it might result in him having to roll initiative.

Sounds like things are a little out of whack, doesn't it? Flip that scenario on its head, and ask yourself if heterosexual players were told that heterosexual characters would be mistreated and punished in the game world, while homosexual characters would be accepted as average. Would we be quick to answer any player displeasure by telling them to just deal with the way the world is?

The scenario doesn't have to be that blatant, either. It could simply be that, no matter what Dave's character does to find NPC companionship (perhaps because he wants to create actual ties to the community, and possibly gain a cohort who also happens to be his lover), the DM just refuses to allow him to succeed. In this case no one is saying Dave's character can't be gay, but there is a not-so-subtle message that he'll be the only gay male character in the entire world.

That's more than a little alienating, since the implication is that heterosexuality is fine, and can easily be met with character development and/or off-screen love affairs, but homosexuality will receive no such attention.

I Don't Want Sex In My Game At ALL, Though!

Here's something that often gets overlooked in this discussion. Sex and sexuality are two different things.

Though I can see how you might confuse the two.

Saying that sex is inappropriate for your game, for whatever reason, is fine. Perhaps you feel it cheapens the story, or it simply makes other players uncomfortable. That's something every table will have to work out for itself regarding what it wants out of a game. Sexuality isn't sex, though. Sexuality is someone's preferences, and what that person is attracted to.

Those things matter in order to flesh the character out more fully.

There's the aspect of character identification and representation that we already covered. Beyond that, though, a character's sexuality is an important part of who they are, and how they came to be where they are now. Sexuality, and the character's feelings about sexuality, comes as a result of life events and experience, and it may play into character motivations and life goals, in addition to just informing part of the character's personality.

As an example, let's say someone is playing a cleric of a god or goddess of love. Were they allowed to explore their own personal tastes in a secure environment in order to bring them a greater understanding of attraction and relationships? Would that sort of faith lead to someone who is empathetic toward the plight of others, and who is tolerant of the needs different people have? Alternatively, say you're playing a transmuter. As the wizard grows in power, ideas like race, and even gender, may cease to have meaning. When you can change yourself into so many different things, what does that do to your perception of sexuality and desire? Does the wizard, for example, find certain forms to be more pleasurable than others? Or does the transmuter cease to see someone's body, since all bodies can be altered, and learn to form connections with deeper aspects of who people truly are?

Does the tribal hunter want to prove his strength so he can be deemed a fit match for the shaman's daughter? Will the knight attempt to win honors in order to seem a more appealing prospect as a husband? Do the rogue and the paladin become friends, and then lovers, traveling and adventuring together in order to keep the other safe? These are just a few possible ways that a character's sexuality can mix into their goals and motivations.

A character may also be someone who is asexual, focusing on non-sexual relationships exclusively. Characters may also be pansexual, and could be attracted to a wide variety of genders, as well as races in a fantasy setting. In short, by ignoring a character's sexuality you are ignoring a huge part of who they are, and how they developed. Even if those aspects never show up in the game itself, they may affect what kinds of decisions PCs make, and how they act. Sexuality, gender, physical appearance, these are all things that have no spot on the character sheet, but they can be a serious difference between a unique, interesting character, and one that is completely forgettable.

It could also lead to plot complications when the ninja decides she's going to seduce the baron, only to find that his preferences tend to run more toward bearded, broad-shouldered knights.

EDIT: A point was brought up during discussion of this topic that sex and sexuality affects more than just one player's character. In a very real sense, it touches all aspects of a society, and the culture that helps shape people's attitudes about what is desirable, and what is allowed. Different cultures have different mating rituals, and different ways that desire is expressed. Some societies may assign the role of stoic resistor to one party while the other pursues, whereas others may have formalized rules of courtship. Some may have certain vows or promises that must be made, or gifts that must be exchanged. Some societies place a high value on a single pairing, whereas others will have more complicated rules for polyamorous relationships. Even if a character isn't actively pursuing sex, or looking to form sexual relationships, their perspectives of "normal" will be influenced by these cultural norms, and what they experienced growing up before becoming adventurers.

Thanks for reading to the end of this entry. I know it's a tough one, but next week I'll have something a little more light-hearted to make up for it. If you want to make sure you don't miss any of my updates, then follow me on Facebook, Tumblr, and Twitter. If you want to help support me and my blog, then drop by my Patreon page to toss a little bread in my jar. If you become a patron before the end of November, there's even a free book in it for you!

Motivation: Why Your Characters Do The Things They Do

We've all had those moments. We're staring down at a character sheet and checking to make sure we didn't forget anything. Stats, check. Skills, check. Feats, armor, weapons, miscellaneous gear? Check, check, check, and check. The character's been named, we know the height, weight, alignment, eye color, size, hair color, and even what god receives this character's prayers. We're sure we must have forgotten something, but what could it be?

How about why your character isn't working a day job as an NPC?

The Spark of Life!

There's no spot for it on your character sheet, but character motivation is what pulls all of those different pencil marks together into a three-dimensional character. It will grant life to their actions, and make them more compelling not just for you but for everyone else at the table. Without it you have a pile of numbers with a face, but no drive to go out and accomplish much of anything.

How Do I Come Up With Motivation?

Motivation can be found in some of the strangest places, but it is often uncovered by why? Take a look at your 1st level human fighter. He's strong, tough, nimble, and he can wield a bastard sword with great skill. Why is he adventuring instead of enlisting in the town guard or joining a caravan to keep the merchants and goods safe? Why did he dedicate himself to the mastery of that one weapon? Why isn't he staying home?

Why, why, why. Perhaps the fighter in question is young and brash, and he feels that the boring job of a guard is too restrictive, and wouldn't be a good use of his skills. In this case he's adventuring because he wants something he can't get in other, safer professions; wealth, recognition, or just the freedom of being his own master. As to the mastery of that weapon, maybe it's a style that's been passed down through the generations and it's something he wanted to learn the same way his father and grandfather did. Maybe it was the biggest, meanest weapon he could get his hands on, and so he trained with it exclusively because that's the kind of warrior he wanted to be. As to staying home, maybe he was disowned for learning how to fight. Maybe he doesn't have a home to go back to, and he wants to leave that fact behind. Maybe he hates where he's from, and taking up the sword and a life of adventuring is him making a clean break with his past... whatever it happens to be.

That's just off the top of my head.

You could do the same thing with any character; look at what they're good at, and ask why the character possess that skill set and what he or she intends to do with it. Why does a wizard set out into the world of dangerous creatures? Is it to test his wits against the wickedness of the wild? To see the things he's only read about in books? Perhaps it's to find treasures and lore lost for centuries? Why does a cleric join an adventuring party? Is it to test her faith against darkness? Is it to provide aid and comfort to those who fight on the side of right? Or is it just to get away from the church to find faith out in the harshness of the world beyond the walls?

Ask What They Want

If your character has a background and a personality then the next question is to ask what they want out of life. Does your barbarian want to have a lifetime of battles interspersed with spending gold at every tavern and brothel she comes across? Or does she want to eventually find a mate and start a clan of her own? Is she looking for a stolen relic, on a spirit quest, or seeking strong companions to help her take back her homeland? All of these are viable options, and more than one of them might apply.

You don't want to know what this guy wants.

Some adventurers want to make more gold in a single dungeon delve than they could ever hope to earn in a lifetime of slaving away at an inn or a forge. Others want to make their parents proud, impress someone they're in love with, earn accolades, or just work off a debt by watching a friend's back for a few, dangerous weeks. Maybe your character has an insatiable wanderlust, has a bounty on her head that means she had to keep moving around, or is trying to make a new name for himself after narrowly escaping justice during a violent or criminal past. Whatever the reason it has to be something a character wants badly enough to seek out, and to work for.

Run it by The Storyteller

You want to do what now?

If you were just writing a story about your character you could do whatever you want... but sometimes players forget that they're each a smaller part of a bigger whole. While it's a good thing to know that your inquisitor has a fire in his belly about uncovering evidence of corruption among the city's elite, how does that convince him to join a party clearing out goblin warrens miles and miles away? Well, that is where the storyteller comes in and slips the player a note telling him that a contact thinks the goblins stole laundered records along with a bunch of other things. If recovered, those books could act as serious evidence against a corrupt official who might be willing to provide even more information.

Bam! Instant plot!

With that said though, players shouldn't expect a storyteller to stretch too far just to accommodate them. This is especially true if the players are on a pre-written campaign path where there's a very clear set of rails laid down throughout the plot. If you want to play a secret prince of an undersea realm who's in hiding on the surface and masquerading as a ship captain, then you are likely going to have to explain to the storyteller what use you are to the party and just how in the hell you fell into their path.

Yes that happened. No, you shouldn't ask. Also, if you want more information about character motivation you should check out these other articles I wrote on the subject: Loaded Dice: What's My Motivation? and this post from my author blog titled Under the Black Hat: Writing Believable Bad Guys.

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