Players, Remember, Nobody is a Jerk to Everyone All The Time

We've all shared a table with this character at least once. Maybe it was the rogue who always seemed to have a veiled threat when they interacted with anyone. Perhaps it was the barbarian who always bullied people to get their way. Or the wizard who talked down and condescended to everyone else because, as evidenced by their stats, they were clearly the smartest person in the room at any given time. Even if you liked the player, or you recognized what they were trying to do with their character, after a while you just couldn't put up with it anymore.

Because no matter what happened, no matter what you did, or how you tried to roleplay with them, the character had one setting, and it was being a jerk. That was their whole thing, and no matter what buttons you pushed they just didn't seem interested in shifting gears.

Got a problem? Fight me!

This week I want to remind players of something; no one is a jerk all the time, and to every person they know. Everyone has their moments of thoughtfulness, apology, camaraderie, and even support. Everyone has people they want to stay friends with, whom they want to like them, or who they know they cannot afford to burn bridges with. Being unpleasant all the time is just playing one note, and it's a note people get tired of really, really fast.

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You Don't Have To Be Nice (Just Don't Be a Pain in The Ass)

To get out ahead of the strawman criticisms on this point, I'm not saying that all our characters need to be kind, good, nice, or accepting. You don't have to bake cookies and give everyone cool nicknames like you're coaching a little league team. What I'm saying is that to avoid a concept from becoming a one-note character, you need to develop their attitudes more. Allow the character to change and grow, and let them have more than one way of interacting with the world around them.

And in this context, remember that a tabletop RPG is a team sport. All of you are in this together, which means you've got to be able to work with each other.

One more word out of you, and I won't heal you till next week. We clear?

I talked about this back in Make Sure Your Character is as Fun to Play With as They Are to Play, but that entry mostly focused on the meta concerns of gelling with the rest of the table as a player. For this entry I want to look at characters who always seem to respond with snark, hostility, or some sort of aggressive dismissal, and point out that it's a pretty shallow take.

Because you can totally still play characters who act this way... but you need to understand why they act that way, who they act that way toward, and to ask how that element will add to the story rather than taking away from it.

Hey! Nobody Talks That Way To The Wizard But Me...

As an example of what I'm talking about, take your stereotypical barbarian/wizard friction. The barbarian is distrustful of the wizard's academic approach, and dismissive of their use of magic instead of muscle. The wizard considers the barbarian ignorant and savage, always escalating situations pointlessly out of ego, or some backward idea of honor. This situation starts out rough, probably with the two of them either ignoring each other, or trading barbs because neither can do what the other can.

Over time, and the progression of several levels, their relationship begins to change. Uther charged in, sword swinging, to save the wizard from an assailant who could have killed him. And when battle was joined another day, Egregor used his spells to fill Uther with strength, and to protect him from the onslaught of their foes. Their barbs became duller as they began to understand each other, turning into a kind of rough camaraderie that one would expect between soldiers who'd served together, or brothers whose fights camouflaged their affection.

The sort of relationship where Uther might call Egregor a thin-wristed, moon-eyed wren, but let anyone else talk to the wizard that way and Uther will knock that person's teeth out.

Now apologize, before I get upset.

Characters who spend time together, and who face danger side-by-side, should see their relationships change over time, and the layers should be peeled back to reveal what's actually happening.

As a for-instance, the rogue who ran with a gang of toughs is used to insults being exchanged as a form of greeting, or friendship (with certain insults being signs of good relations, and others still maintaining their original, hurtful intent). So what seemed like a barrage of disrespect is actually how you can identify who their friends are. Over time a few party members pick up this patois, while the rogue learns to instead speak to the cleric in a lighter tone that still implies respect and familiarity, without shifting entirely to cold formality. Alternatively the grim, taciturn fighter who always kept to herself slowly comes out of her shell, learning to trust this group of adventurers she's signed on with. In time we find out that she's lost so many comrades that she simply didn't let herself get attached, using stoicism and silence to stop anyone from reaching out to her. After half a dozen levels, though, her party finds out she can cook, and when she's comfortable around you she'll even sing.

This Applies To Evil Characters, Too

The other side of the coin is that you might have a character who is a genuine bastard. There's no cultural misunderstanding for how they act, and no deeper trauma they're hiding; they're just nasty to other people because that is what gives them feelings of power. The ability to hit someone with a really nasty insult, or to outmaneuver someone socially, just makes them happy. Maybe they're not actually evil, just toxic, and they need to keep a strict social hierarchy (and to make clear where they are in the pecking order) in order to function.

Even in these situations, it's important to let characters change and grow as their relationships develop. And, generally speaking, to examine the goals, motivations, and self-preservation of the character in question. And while I covered some of this in 5 Tips For Playing Better Evil Characters, it's worth returning to.

Words are weapons... don't wound your allies, or they won't be your allies for long.

Consider the black knight. His handsome face is constantly twisted by a sneer of disgust, and his every word to those he sees as beneath him is dismissive and arrogant. He'll be the first to backhand a commoner for not bringing him his drink fast enough, or for what he sees as talking back to him.

But would he treat those in his party, his chosen band, the same way? Probably not. It isn't out of the goodness of his black heart, of course, but it might be out of a sense of respect, of honor, or simply of self-preservation.

The knight doesn't respect the hulking brute Caligras, but he knows the half-ogre is dangerous. So he plays the friend, treating him more like a favored hound than as an equal (or even as a person). The witch Tiberius is common-born, and claimed by fell magics to boot, but the knight respects his power, so he treats him the way one might a favored vassal, or a distant cousin. He doesn't want the witch turning those arcane arts from the enemy, onto himself. The same is true of the dark priest Fenethor, whose talk of blood and pain would be frightening were it not so constant. He doesn't waste time intimidating the servant of a flayed god, nor in trying to bully them. Instead he treats their interactions formally, as he would when discussing strategy with an advisor or a lieutenant upon the field of battle.

This lets you play the character as you envision them, but it also means your fun isn't rubbing the other players the wrong way. And even if you establish starting attitudes and opinions regarding others in the party (or even other PCs), those things can always change over time.

Just because a character felt, acted, or behaved one way at the start of the game doesn't mean they can't change as they go through the game. They're getting experience, after all, and experience is what allows all of us to grow and become different over time.

Also, for further reading on the subject, check out:

- Remember, The Party is Under No Obligation To Adventure With You

- Let Them Reap What They Sow (Actions and Consequences For PCs in RPGs)

- 6 Dos and Don'ts of Character Flaws

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